What Love Can Do
It's kinda funny that I start off my blog with a topic that so much relates me right now - Pain. Yeah, love can make us do things that we do not know we can do.
I know all of us has gone through some tough times in our lives and others may seem to have worse than ours. Physical pain felt though wounds can kill but emotional pain can too. It's been a pretty rough ride for me for the past seven months now. And I still feel it. A lot. It even pushed me to the extent that I wanted to be gone - to not exist. Memories of the past somewhat makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. These memories that I somehow want to forget just for me not to feel the pain. But I don't want to forget.
Yesterday, the love of my life graduated. I felt happy and proud but it also saddens me. Yesterday as the last day that I will be having a glimpse of that face. You may ask why but it's been pretty complicated between us. I loved someone that I never expected to fall in love with. and I still do. It's been 3 years and 5 months since. and for those times, I have been a stranger. Never came a time that I did not think of that smile. Nobody actually knew what we had then. I don't even know what happened between us so I was trying to fix things. Everything was going to plan then someone suddenly burst in on us - my so called best friend. This post is not enough for the whole story, really.
Now, I am a stranger again. But I am still not giving up. I am still waiting for that someday that we might actually be together again. Yes, I am still hoping.
In this decision that I have made - to wait for someone without knowing until when or will it even arrive - pain that the memories bring fill up my heart, feeling like it wants to explode. Tears that come and go as if I have run out. In this battle that I face alone, It is hard for me to forget and not to feel. it is had for me to love again, to trust again, to be happy again.
But this pain, makes me stronger each day and I feel it. The pain lessens every day that passes but it is still there. And I want it to be there, because pain is meant to be felt. They say that if it hurts, then it is true. Yer it hurts a lot. I've been hurting for more than 3 years now and nothing changed. It proves that my love is true and sincere. My love is real.
I know all of us has gone through some tough times in our lives and others may seem to have worse than ours. Physical pain felt though wounds can kill but emotional pain can too. It's been a pretty rough ride for me for the past seven months now. And I still feel it. A lot. It even pushed me to the extent that I wanted to be gone - to not exist. Memories of the past somewhat makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. These memories that I somehow want to forget just for me not to feel the pain. But I don't want to forget.
Yesterday, the love of my life graduated. I felt happy and proud but it also saddens me. Yesterday as the last day that I will be having a glimpse of that face. You may ask why but it's been pretty complicated between us. I loved someone that I never expected to fall in love with. and I still do. It's been 3 years and 5 months since. and for those times, I have been a stranger. Never came a time that I did not think of that smile. Nobody actually knew what we had then. I don't even know what happened between us so I was trying to fix things. Everything was going to plan then someone suddenly burst in on us - my so called best friend. This post is not enough for the whole story, really.
Now, I am a stranger again. But I am still not giving up. I am still waiting for that someday that we might actually be together again. Yes, I am still hoping.
In this decision that I have made - to wait for someone without knowing until when or will it even arrive - pain that the memories bring fill up my heart, feeling like it wants to explode. Tears that come and go as if I have run out. In this battle that I face alone, It is hard for me to forget and not to feel. it is had for me to love again, to trust again, to be happy again.
But this pain, makes me stronger each day and I feel it. The pain lessens every day that passes but it is still there. And I want it to be there, because pain is meant to be felt. They say that if it hurts, then it is true. Yer it hurts a lot. I've been hurting for more than 3 years now and nothing changed. It proves that my love is true and sincere. My love is real.
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